Dear readers, the above question has been asked many times. I have heard it asked of me by non-Catholic Christians. I will try to answer this question lovingly and without judgement of the questioner. I will answer from 1) experience; 2) psychology; 3) theology; 4) a vision.
1) experience: Just today I have experienced going to confession to Fr. Amah. He was kind, gentle, non-judgemental, merciful, full of counsel and good advice; most of all, he was full of absolution. He gave me Holy Communion soon after and sent me to the church for my thanksgiving. Of course, I had already made an act of contrition during the week daily at Mass because there is a penitential rite just as Mass is starting. But the feeling I received after holy confession was totally unique. I felt totally forgiven and sure I have been forgiven. This certainty comes no where except in holy confession as regarding forgiveness of my sins. I truly felt that Jesus had forgiven me through the ordained power of the priest.
2) psychology: We have heard it said that confession is good for the soul. That seems to be a very true statement; but confession to whom? As my mom died - just hours before when she was lucid - each of her 7 children came to talk to her privately and ask for her forgiveness of any possible hurt to her. I never have heard of any such hurt being given to her; but each of us went in to confess to her and get her absolution and forgiveness. Why was there any such need or necessity for such a family ritual that just happened spontaneously? The answer lies I believe in that we all need to confess to SOMEONE. It is the face to face confession that purges the soul for so many: between husband and wife; between wife and husband; between co-workers; between brothers and sisters, girlfriends and boyfriends; between criminals and their victims; between even the Church and members; between workers and management; betwwen nations after a war; between companies and harm caused to others (cigarette companies who kill people as a matter of policy); between abortion doctors and the babies they have killed; between the babies killed and their mothers -- in all reconciliation is needed and necessary. And all of these entail confessing to someone. Jesus Himself knew that in the nature of mankind/womankind, confession needed to be face to face with someone. He defended the woman caught in adultery and forgave her before she could even ask for forgiveness. Jesus knew her heart and forgave her and protected her. He did the same for the woman at the well who had 5 husbands and was not married to the man she was living with. He forgave her by sending her into the Samaritan town to evangelize every one and bring them all to Him. She did this. She told the town, "Here is one who has told me everything I have ever done; could He be the Christ?" Yes, Jesus knew psychologically people need to confess to a person in addition to confessing to God. Also beware of feeling guilty instead of feeling repentant. There is a difference. Judas felt guilty; but he did not confess to the Lord. He tried to go to those who gave him the 30 pieces of silver and said to them: "I have sinned in betraying innocent blood". But those who just as guilty said to Judas, "What is that to us; you see to it." He did not receive any absolution from those religious leaders because they were not repentant at all. So feeling guilty can lead to despare as it did to Judas. But Judas should have turned to the Lord because all sin is a rupture of our relationship with God. St. Peter felt badly when he saw that he had denied Christ 3 times. He went out and wepted bitterly. It never says he felt guilty; he felt repentant. He received absolution from Jesus because Jesus gave him a beautiful penance: He ased Peter this question 3 times: "Do you love Me?" Thus the 3 denials were made up for by 3 acts of love for Jesus. That is true repentance because the love relationship between Peter and Jesus had been ruptured by Peter. But you can see that it was this personal encounter with Jesus - face to face - that made Peter in the end closer to Jesus than if he had never denied Jesus in the first place. That is the true beauty of confession - the Sacrament of Holy Confession - Jesus once hearing of out sins being confessed to Him, He has to respond in such a creative way that actually you will become closer to Him than if you had not sinned because "Where sin abounds, grace abounds more." But we should not use this as an excuse to sin warns St. Paul who is trying to tell us that once we have confessed, Jesus creatively uses our sins to bring us closer to Him that even before we sinned. Once we have confessed, Jesus [since we were created by the Father to have communion with His Son] has to use all we have done to our advantage. Look at Mary Magdalene. She wepted tears and washed Jesus' feet with her tears and wiped His feet with her hair. Mary Magdalene who had had 7 devils - now became a great saint! He said the story of her love ["for she had loved much"] would be told of her for all generations. So her sins once confessed were no longer her eternal shame; but rather now they are for her glory because sin repented of and forgiven works for our glory. Her relationship with Jesus and with God the Father was complete by the absolution of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus can makes saints out of us, too, if we repent and confess to Him through and in the Sacrament of Holy Confession. Let us observe that Mary Magdalene did not just pray to God to have her sins forgiven. No, rather she went to her Lord, Jesus Christ, in a Holy Confession - face to face.
3) theology: Jesus said to His apostled as He was about to ascend to heaven: "Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you shall forgive; they are forgiven. Whose sins you shall retain, they are retained." Thus Jesus gave to men - duly ordained - the power to forgive sins. If Jesus gave this power to His priest/bishops, He would seem to want us to use this means - this Sacramental - means for forgiveness of sins. If confession to the Father in our hearts were sufficient, why would He say this to His disciples? He wanted us to have that personal contact we need as humans. When a priest gives absolution, God the Father is there welcoming us as He did the prodigal son/daughter. Jesus said, "Receive the Holy Spirit", so it is the power of the Holy Spirit that forgives our sins in confession. Yes, we should confess to the Father anytime by saying, "I am heartly sorrow for my sins because You are so good and loving and derserve all my love." That does forgive our sins because that is a perfect contrition. But what if a person were to say to God, "I am sorry for my sins because I am afraid of being punished in hell." That is contrition; God hears it; but that imperfect contrition needs the absolution of a priest for sure because that imperfect contrition is not enough for full forgiveness of sins. Imperfect contrition needs a priest's absolution. It is sufficient in confession; it is not sufficient outside of confession. Fr. Amah in confession leads the penitent in an act of contrition as follows: "Merciful Father, I am sorry for all my sins: the sins of my yourth, the sins of my age; the sins I know; the sins I do not know which are hidden from my memory. I am hardly sorry for all of them because they would that loving and tender Heart. Forgive and forget what I have been." Now that is a great act of contrition because it forcuses on Jesus' Heart and our sins wounding His Sacred Heart. Therefore, Holy Confession is the most primary way to have our serious sins (committed after Baptism) forgiven by God. Jesus originated this way; and we cannot do better than accept and follow His way: because He is the Way, the Truth and the Life!"
4) a vision: This is a true story without embelishment or exaggeration of any kind. 20 years ago, I went into the old confessionals which had a priest in the middle and a private booth on either side so the priest could confessions one after the other without much delay. Neither penitent could hear what the other pernitent was confessing because they were sound proof to assure privace and secrecy. The priest under excommunication cannot reveal anything he hears in confession to anyone. Strictly speaking the priest after confession cannot even bring up to you what you have confessed to him. Well, this old Italian priest at Our Lady of Mt Carment in Detroit always heard confessions before 4:30 pm Mass. So, I entered the confessional about 4:20pm. Since he did not open the little window with a curtain on to me, I assumed he was hearing the confession of another person in the other booth. After 15 minutes of waiting, I got a little worried that maybe the priest was not even in the middle confession booth. I heard not a sound, not even a little movement or muffled sounds. I peeked out the door and saw that Mass had not started and even candles were not lit despite the fact that it was now 1:35 pm. After another 8 minutes had passed, I decided to do a daring thing; I gently pulled the curtain aside to see if the priest were there or not - someting I had never done before or ever needed to do. The vision I saw when I pulled back the curtain was the most marvelous thing I have ever seen. I was totally surprised and awed and blest to see Jesus Himself hearing the confession of the person in the other booth. The Italian priest was hardly 5 foot; but Jesus had to be a man of 6 feet or more. Jesus was siting; but you could tell He was a tall man. Jesus had his face covered by His right hand like one intently listening to someone. His hair was wheat color - not blond but wheat. His hair was so thick that it did not lay down like normal hair; it lay off his shoulders Not one stran of hair was out of place or ever crossed over another hair. Must be there is no wind in heaven. His hair was shoulder length. His tunic was woven in one peice. His neckline was without color and in an oval like the cut of our tpshirts. His arms were totally exposed because His tunic had no sleaves whatsover; His shoulder was exposed. His arms were dazzaling beautiful - the most perfect arms ever seen on earth. He was well built but not muscular - just like the build of a man who worked with logs and moved heaven rocks. The color of Jesus' tunic was three fold. Three colored yarns were used to weave this tunic. There was a wheat color light brown yard; there was a deeper brown; and there was a very deep umber brown. The tunic was immaculate but seemed to have been washed that very same day. It seemed to have balls of yard like a sweater balls us because of frequent washing. I slowing closed the curtain. I could not speak to anyone the rest of the day. I was like a medicine ball had hit the gut of my soul. Fr. Joseph Chircop used to tell me, "When you go to confession to me; you are not confessing to me but rather you are confessing to Jesus." Well, this vision is what devout Protestants call a "confirmation." Later I did tell the Italian priest of the vision. He smiled so lovingly at me and took it as a matter of course. He knew that was happening all his life. He was not at all surprised at the vision that he was so utterly convinced of. He was a saint. Well, you may ask, "How did you get all those details?" My answer to you is twofold: once, I am an artist and painter. I notice the most minute details. I never miss one.
Secondly, I took a very very long look - looking up from Jesus's meet to His head. I took in everything. I never saw anything like this before or after. It was not a Jesus that was etherial or vapor. O no; Jesus looked normal and as solid as you and me. This reminds me, too, of St. Dom Bosco's advice to a young penitent ready to go to confession but did not know how. Dom Bosco said just imagine you had a best friend whom you offended. You want his forgiveness and to be close again. "If you confess to him sincerely, he will not only forgive you; he will give you a hug as well." The boy answered: "Is the friend Jesus Christ?" "Yes, said Dom Bosco who absolved the boy of all his sins. Once the holy priest was in the yard of his Oratory and saw a boy crying. Asking the boy what was wrong, Dom Bosco heard the reply: "I lost all my sins. I wrote them down on a sheet of paper; now I cannot find them." Dom Bosco said to him that it was good that he would lose all his sins...and that in confession, they will be never found again in this world or the next! So Dom Bosco obsolved the boy of all his sins what he could remember and those he could not. They were totally gone forever. Even God cannot remember them because Jesus' Precious Blood had washed them away. The devil wants to accuse us of our sins and faults; but God will never accuse us of confessed sin. God would not recall what He has forgiven. In both of these examples, it was face to face confession through the absolution of a priest that was most effective. Jesus did not invent a better way...because it is His own invention to forgive sins. He said to His apostles: "Receive the Holy Spirit; whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven; whose sins you shall retain, they are retained." We cannot improve on what Jesus commanded. So do not let any denomination tell you that confession is not necessary. The Word of God alone tells you what is true and right.
So, if you wish to again ask: "Why do I have to confess to a priest?" My answer is that Jesus wants you to have this personal contact and that in reality you are confessing to Jesus who is right there present in the confessional with you. He is intently listening to you, absolving you, loving you. Also, if you have committed a grave sin - one that casts out the Holy Spirit from you since He cannot dwell in a soul that is dead, then you must go to Holy Confession before receiving the Body and Blood of Jesus which is the Sacrament of the living. Two Sacraments take away sin: baptism and confession. St. Paul said to receive Jesus in Holy Communion unworthily is a eating and dreaking damnation. So, we must examin ourselves and go to humble confession before receiving Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. Judas received unworthily. It did not go well for him. But even if you have ever received Jesus wrongly, you can confess that in confession, too, be absolved. But if you have venial sin, you can confess that to get good counsel and absolution from the priest; but hearing the word of God reverently or reading scripture lovingly takes away venial sin. Also, Jesus in Holy Communion takes away venial sin. A venial sin is like telling a lie; but a mortal sin is breaking one of the 10 commandment grieviously. In all these sins, remember when you come to Holy Confesion, you are coming to Jesus who is listening to you and loving you and absolving you and encouraging you. He said to the woman caught in adultery: "Has anyone condemned you?" "No, Lord," she said. "Neither do I condemn you; but from now on avoid this sin." Jesus is gentle, approachable, understanding, kind, merciful and loivng. Love, Pio
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