True Eros was created by God to connect us to the Divine. Eros is a word that has its root in the Ectasy which is to fraw us out of ourselves because true eros does draw us out of ourselves and self focus. That is the very reason of the Book the Song of Songs of Solomon. To get into heaven, we must show St.Peter a ticket that says on it: "It was all about others and through others to God." Whereas to get into hell, those going there must have a ticket that reads: "It was all about me and through me and for me." Eros, however, begins us to be drawn out our selves. That journey is the most important journey of life. Passion is not wrong; it was passion in Jesus that caused him to clean out the Temple so that true believers could pray in peace. It was a great Passionate Love that caused Him to undergo the passion and lay His life down for you and me.
His Passion was of God. Passion is good. Only when passion is focused on self does it become bad and unredemptive. Passion by design is redemptive. God designed sexual passion in marriage to help spouses fall more deeply in love, to grow in that love with each other and to fall in love with God!
It is a mystery that God made us at all and that He wanted us to "multiply and subdue the earth." Even before the fall of manking, God told Adam and Eve to "tend the garden". Tending the garden and subduing the earth seem to be our job from day one. But let us look at the word: 'multiply". What does that totally mean? It surely means that Adam and Eve were called to make love. What is the difference between merely having intercouse and making love? The difference is like comparing the moon with the sun. Having intercourse is what animals do by instinct. Making love is a mystical/physical/intimate celebration between husband and wife. It is a model of Gods own love for us, His covenant with us. Isaiah says: "I your Maker will be your Husband"..and.."As a young man delight in his bride, so shall the Lord delight in you!" Well, being a man and having been married, I had a wedding night. Both she and I were both virgins. She made a ceremonial garment and placed it over me and said while ritually removing it: "I now remove your virginity." In response, I spontaneously placed her wedding veill over her and said: "I now remove your virginity." I was 27 years old and she was 23. God rewarded our purity with 6 children: Christin, Cathrin, Christian, Jonathon, Cynthia, and Raphael. Removing our virginity from one another at the right time made our loving making a religious and spiritual event. It was religious because we were performing a sacrament and fulfilling God's loving command to "multiply" to bring God's creation refreshingly new in our age. It was spiritual because we were treating one another as "sacramentals". We had been blest by the priest at the wedding; now were were treating one another as holy. All we do: making love, going to work, cleaning the house, driving our car and shopping and changing diaphers -- all are part of our spiritual life. St. Paul said: "Whatever you do, do it for the Lord not onto men." So every kiss in marriage and every caress is "holy unto the Lord."
What of the act of making love itself? Speaking from experience, these are the resulting things that have been written on my heart. Well, I have always felt like a whole person, independent, energetic open to nature and having joy just be getting up to a new day that will be full of surprises from God. But when united while making love, I noticed a new experience of really feeling whole. At that moment I realized that I had not been whole. But at this precise supreme moment, I felt that her body was actually my body: that her body and my body made one body. I felt that now I was a whole person and that all the other times in my life, I was actually not a complete person. Her body and my body made a new whole person. I was fully me! She was fully her. It was all pervasive -- a mystical experience. It was religious because we were not only united to one another, we were in so doing united to God in a new way. We were three persons in one God: she and I and God were united in the Holy Spirit - one in Christ. Now I understand more fully how God is One God in Three Persons. God's life is nuptial: The Father loves the Son: the Son loves the Father; the resulting Love IS the Holy Spirit.
Making love begets a need to make love again....sometimes within the hour. Why? With each making of love, a new level of intimacy is reached and a new closeness. There IS a difference in our relationship that results from each time we make love. This newness of love desires to celebrate our love again. This is a spirling upward of love and spirit, joy and peace. That is what God intended. When we go to heaven, God who is Infinite, will reveal more and more of Himself to us. Each time He does, we will go "Oooh and Aaaa!" God will continue to do this: revealing more and more of His Beauty in the Beatific Vision forever! Forever is a long time. Will not God come to an end of such revelations? No. God is infinite; He will never be done showing Himself and more and more about Himself. When we are ushered into Presence of God for the first time, we will be so awe struck that we would die of it were we on earth. But we will be able to take it in heaven. But that will be our "Wedding night with the Lord"! What about the eternal Marriage we will have with God?! Do you think that our wedding night is all there is? That night/day will be only the incredible beginning of our nuptual adventure with God for all eternity. We will be "Ooooed" and "Aaaaaed" forever and ever! Millions of heaven years into eternity, we will be so in love with God and continue to fall in love with God forever. Heaven is not static or re-runs. Heaven is utterly new each moment. It is very much like making love: we get closer and closer to one another with each celebration of love. We, also, in Heaven, be expanded in our capacity to love and be loved by God. When God continues to reveal more and more of Himself, we will GROW in love for God; we will more and more FALL in love with God to the extent that Heaven will be a Creshendo of Praise and Love for God. The Alleluia of the Angels we will join. But their Alleluia is growing, too. God is surely keeping them entertained as well. They do not grow tired of singing "Alleluia." God is ever new for them as well. Their "Alleluias" and ours will blend. Heaven will be as a great trumpet BLAST! We will all be very very happy.......forever!
Practical Epilogue:
"Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the Church." So, we are the bride of Christ now on earth but in heaven, Jesus will have us His bride forever too. So there will be a marriage feast of the Lamb. The nuptuals of Christ and His bride - us - is celebrated at every Mass and Holy Communion. But we husbands should love our wives like Jesus loves His church. Jesus died for His church. So, we as husbands must lay down our lives spiritually for our wives daily: when she is sick, when she is irritable, when she is tired, when she is exhausted by the kids, when she is upset and does not have a clue why. Real "love making" is going on when we are loving her through those hard times and being her support! She will take great note of it and surpise you one day with her own response: taking care of you when you are sick, making your favorite dish, getting you your favorite dvd of "Horatio Horn Blower", and giving you a special kiss that is a prelude to much much more. :)
Addendum: written on April 6, 2012:
I just heard a lovely talk by the late Bishop Sheen who cause for Beatification has been introduced. I saw him live on stage at the Fisher Theatee in about 1964. When he came out to greet the people who knew him from his television series: "Life is Worth Living" [highest rated TV show at that time], he received an incredible ovation. We all stood up and clapped for a full ten minutes..That has never happened for any rock star or even the president of the United States! During the ovation, he looked at his watch twice. When finally, we did calm down and sat down. He just looked at us all with those piercing eyes and smiled a big smile while saying: "Wow! With that ovation, I just can't wait to hear what I am going to say!" He broke up the audience and told other jokes too.
Well, today, the good Bishop had some interesting thoughts to share about sexuality which has in turn given me some creative thoughts of my own:
1) There is in Greek the three kinds of love: eros (sexual love), filios (friendship love) and agape (sacrificial love unto death).
2) Sexual love -- if it is isolated from filios and agape love -- does not seek a person but seeks release. It does not consider the person of the other but the pleasure to be received for self not the pleasure to be given to the beloved for his/her self.
3) True human love in marriage has all three: "eros", "filios" and "agape" (dying to selfish desires by a marital, exclusive, permanent and faithful love).
4) When you love a person truly, you love the person in his/her totality: body, soul, spirit, personality and lay your life down for that person by daily devotion and kindness and fulfillment of the beloved's needs.
5) When advertizer say that "cars are sexy", it is not transfering human qualities on to cars because cars cannot feel sexy but rather it means that if you will buy this car, it will make you, the driver, feel sexy or look sexy. Using sex to sell things is like putting powdered sugar on metal to make it sweet: there is no connection.
6) Mary Magdaline whose life was based on "eros" for money broke her jar of costly nard and poured it over the feet of Jesus. This costly perfume was the stock of her trade; by breaking it, she was breaking with her past and starting a new life of "filios" and "agape" love following Jesus's way of life. Mary Magdaline with this act of sacrificial love for Jesus became like Mary, the Mother of Jesus whose love for Jesus was totally sacrificial. Interesting that on the hill of Calvary, both Mary Magdaline and Mary, Jesus's Mother were there under the cross. These two women now resembled each other in their bearing the cross that following Jesus to His death was placing upon them. But all would lead to resurrection. Mary Magdaline's former life would have led to nothing but loneliness and regrets in old age. But now, Mary Magdaline had found "true love" -- Agape Love for a Person: Jesus!
7) True sexual love in marriage is truly all three: "eros", "filios" and "agape" -- God's plan for the fulfillment of the couple and their finding true identity as a couple that mirror Christ's love for His Church..and mirrors the inner life of the Holy Trinity..even on this earth...which will prepare the couple for eteranl bliss with God for all eternity. This was God's design for Human Sexual Love."
Peace and love,
Pio Let us pray:
"Thank You, Father, for the incredible gift of human sexual love. Let it help us to have more gratitude and love for each other as well as have more gratitude and love for You, Father. Let Your generosity to us be the model of our generosity to one another so that we can fulfill the Lord's command: "Love one another as I have loved you." and..."As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you." Father, give us the agape love for one another. Amen."
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